Rules For Atlantis
by Just Four Misfits
Summary: Atlantis. You'd think it'd be an easy place to manage right? Wrong! It's more than a hard days work. Here's a few helpful tips on surviving on this city. OC POV
1. 1  10

A/N: I have decided to write rules for Living on Atlantis, I would like to thank Just add Coffee for letting me use some of the rules they wrote, with my own reasons behind WHY.

If you haven't read 'I'll never leave you' you might be lost but its written in my OC's (Keely Matthews) Point of view.

Please read and review.

Rule's for Living on Atlantis. Written by Keely Mathews and Friends (And even John.)

Rule # 1: You are under any circumstances allowed to bungee jump off the main tower. Are you trying to give DR Beckett a heart attack?

(**This is only on here because John and Ronon were bored) **

**(Poor Carson)**

Rule# 2: Hoard the chocolate and you will be thrown of the pier. Repeatedly.

**(THAT WAS MY STASH)**

**(I don't care how important John is)**

**(Colonel or not, HE KNOW'S THE RULE'S)**

Rule# 3 Atlantis is not a Yo-Yo. We are not sinking it just so you can impress alien woman.

**(Bloody Noobies)**

**(Not only if its just for 4 seconds)**

**(I don't wanna die)**

Rule # 4 Atlantis is not 'The Shinning City of Sparkles'

**(This is why we don't bring villagers back to the city)**

Rule # 5: The next person who sings 'Nobody's Perfect' will be left on a planet with no DHD.

**(Hahaha, I've destroyed all their lives)**

Rule # 5a: The Atlantis version of 'Nobody's Perfect' is not to be sung on Earth. We want the SGC to think we're some what normal.

**(Jack just stared at me like I've gone mad)**

**(You don't want to know what he did to John)**

Rule # 6: NO rollerblading through the corridors

**(Wow… Those doors are hard when your going 10kmph)**

**(Liz banned me from my 'Blades)**

**(I'm having rollerblading withdrawals)**

**Rules # 7: **The following Disney shows are banned:

_**Hannah Montana**_**: Best of both worlds got stuck in John's head and he sings it everywhere.**

**Even when while fighting the wraith.**

_**Sonny with a chance**_**: again, theme song, John's head.**

**And Rodney no you are no Chad Dylan Cooper.**

_**Wizards of Waverly Place: **_** John tries to be as cool as Justin, it never works.**

**Teyla wizards aren't real.**

**And let's face it I AM Alex Russo.**

Rule # 8: Never skateboard through the 'Gate.

**(Bloody Evan and Ronon beat me $20 I couldn't do it)**

**(I came back with a broken wrist and concussion)**

**(Liz banned me, no more off-World missions for about 4 weeks)**

**Rule # 9: **No more Karaoke Night

**(Rodney for the sake of our ears stop singing Justin Bieber) *Soz for all the Jb fans haha***

**(I love my best of both worlds)**

**Rule # 10**: No more stealing my DVD's from my room

**(I will find out who stole my Family Guy DVD)**

**So how was the first chapter? Review plwease**


	2. 11 20

A/N: Since you guys reviewed here is the next set of rules.

I don't own the show, just my OC and the rule (well some of them anyway)

Rule # 11: No more quoting Family Guy *Liz is watching me writing this* (Eye twitching)

_**Buttscracher**_** (John I don't need one)**

**(He says that to some villagers on a world we went to)**

**(Their scared of him now)**

_**Cool Whip**_** (OMG Carson and Rodney were at it for ages)**

**(I had popcorn)**

_**Surfin' Bird**_** (Evan and that bloody song)**

**(Ronon and I pulled a Stewie and Brian)**

**(He cried for hours)**

**(Poor sad little man)**

Rule # 12: Do not, I repeat, Do not annoy any of the female staff when its "that time of month".

**(Teyla nearly knocked Rodney out)**

**(Liz wouldn't stop yelling at everyone)**

**(And I will just through you over the pier)**

Rule # 13: Don't tell Colonel Sheppard that there is a turkey sandwich on a planet. Must likely he will go and look for it.

**(He came back, running with Wraith stunner blasts following him)**

**(He still managed to find a bloody sandwich)**

**(He was disappointed that it wasn't Turkey)**

**(Followed me everywhere complaining about that bloody sandwich)**

Rule # 14: No more South park

**(The song Kyle's mums a… *You get the idea* went around the whole base with lots of different names.)**

**(Rodney just picked up saying 'mmmkay' after every sentence)**

Rule # 14: Simpsons quoting will have to stop.

***Whenever I learn new stuff it pushes the old things outta my brain* (That's how come I don't go to many meetings)**

Rule # 15: Twilight is not an appropriate book for Teyla to read.

**(She asked if it was based off me and Michael.)**

Rule # 16: NO SAYING THINGS FROM WIZARDS OF WAVERLY PLACE in times of serious matter

**(I was doing a test that Liz assigned for me, in a meeting) **

**(And john kept saying 'Got it')**

*** Does he have to say Got it after every question* (Then Rodney looked at me) we're taking a test.***

***I can't take YOU Seriously. You use big words like transparent. What are you British?***

***Keely you're just in time for game night***

***Oh sorry I don't play games that end in crime scene tape.***

**(Well that was a fun night)**

***Who are you taking about?**

**That Ancient woman she thinks we're dating, I need your sneaky cunning advice of how to get rid of her.**

**Dump her! Just dump her! Dump her hard!***

***well this is awkward***

***OMG it's the Thursday pop quiz we have EVERY Thursday, im totally caught off guard.***

**(Liz gives me a Test EVERY Thursday)**

***What are we gonna do!**

**You said 'WE'! So officially, your in!**

**Man every time***

**(Hehe, John and I, on missions, when I usually stuff things up)**

Rule # 17: There's to be no more Transformers

**(I don't see why not) (Because Rodney wanted to create his own Wheelie, *John*)**

**(Let the man build his own Wheelie!)**

Rule # 18: Ties with rule number 16: Don't quote Transformers

***OMG we're gonna die**

**No where not his a kick ass flyer (Then John fly's towards the Wraith ship)**

**OMG No we're gonna die.***

***(Villager) what are you doing here**

**(Sheppard) We're here to climb this tree.***

Rule # 19: Don't play truth or dare with the Noobies

**(They will freak and hide)**

**(One actually passed out when I was given truth and found out I slept with a wraith)**

**(He was human at the time!)**

Rule # 20: No stilling me DVD's

**(I wanted to watch HSM) **

**(I found it missing)**

**(And then 10 mins later, I found John showing Teyla and Ronon the horrors of musical movies)**

**(I yelled at him for about and hour saying Zac Efron isn't Gay)**

A/N: And here is the second lot of Rules you shouldn't do on Atlantis. So go ahead and pressed that blue button down there and review

Peace


	3. 21 30

A/N: Sorry for begin late, I was in France for the weekend for ANZAC day, sooo back to the rules here's 21-30.

Rule # 21: No quoting Hannah Montana.

***Did you just shove pie in your face?**

**It's not pie. It's umm a foaming facial wash pie***

**(Don't ask)**

**(Com. Link coming through) *are you gonna answer that?**

**No im talking to you, that would be rude***

**(It happened when Liz was calling me.) **

**(I just ended up in getting grounded. Again)**

***What if one friend loved another friend, but that friend didn't get loved back? Then things would get all weird and the friends couldn't be friends any more. And there's nothing more important then our friendship Rodney.**

**Oh man you love me?**

**Eww no, I mean I do love you but like a brother or a pet fish, I mean id cry if I'd have to flush you down the toilet.***

**(That was one weird night)**

Rule # 22: When confronting Michael, DO NOT give him my DS.

**(He will go mad)**

**(Why? Because he loves PAC 'N ROLL!)**

Rule# 23: Keep Rodney away from liquid Nitrogen.

**(He was freezing everything)**

**(Including the following items)**

***John's Laptop**

***My Black converse's**

***Liz's Mobile**

***Evan's NEW ipod (Again, he was in the infirmary)**

*** And various other things.**

**(I threw my good pair of Shoes at his head)**

**(He only ended up seeing Carson)**

Rule # 23: Never piss Teyla off

**(Nuff said)**

Rule # 24 Never let Rodney play Halo.

**(Rodney screams like a girl)**

**(John and I still haven't let that go)**

**(I had to see Carson, because i couldn't stop laughing)**

Rule # 25: Never let the kids from Teyla's world use my skateboard.

**(They wound up getting hurt, and I got the blame)**

**('They stole it from me")**

Rule# 25: Never, during lunch, exclaim…'YAy wieners and peas for lunch!'

**(Everyone stayed away for awhile)**

**(Rodney Laughed so hard, he started chocking)**

**(Ironically on a hotdog)**

Rule # 26: Never challenge any wraith to a staring contest.

**(you will loose)**

**(Badly)**

Rule # 26: Banging your head against any surface is forbidden.

**(I forgot where I was and whacked my head on a sharp point, of something)**

**(13 stiches)**

**(ouch)**

Rule # 27: Double dog dares are forbidden.

**(Rodney ended up having a broken arm.)**

**(John got stuck to a chair, for three days)**

Rule # 28: Never dare Ronon, John or Evan to chug a whole litre of soda.

**(They burped for half an hour)**

**(Evan threw up)**

**(Cadman was not happy with me.)**

Rule # 29: Simple rules are forbidden now too.

**(The older staffs have no sense of humour.)**

Rule # 30: quoting JONAS, is half and half.

***Keely, When a boy is mean to a girl, he's crushing on her**

**Are you defending him?**

**No Ma'am.***

***I told you 'Rodney's password' is a bad password.***

***You know, I do have an idea we can make this right**

**Really? Can you tell us your idea without using the words: Chowder, Monkey, Pogo or Time machine? **

**No*  
(John doesn't come up with any good ideas)**

A/N: Thanks for reading this, and the rules from 23 to 29 are based off Tatyana's rules for living with giant alien robots, go check it out, there really good.

So anyway read and review


	4. 31 33

A/N: Sorry for updating so late last weekend I went to France for ANZAC Day (Australian thing) and then this weekend I had a sleep-over with my friends.

So disclaimer: I don't own Stargate Atlantis (which is very sad) but I do own Keely Matthews (Who is a lot like me…Duh)

There will be only three rules on this page because I can't think of anything… Can you guys help me and send in some rules please!!!! The help will be thanked A LOT :P

Rule#31: Food must stay in the mess hall that includes you John.

**(I found turkey on John's bed three weeks ago)**

**(Ugh the pain, The smell)  
*Shudder***

Rule # 32: No more playing truth or dare with the new, new noobies.

**(Again, these guys WILL faint when they know the cold hard truth)**

**(I SLEPT WITH A FREAKING WRAITH.)**

**(God get over it already)**

**(John has) (No I haven't, *JS*)**

**(Damn it!)**

Rule# 33: Never let John give you a blinded make over.

**(That was permanent marker, not lipstick.)**

**(It took me 3 days to get that off)**

**(I WILL GET YOU!)**

A/N: Sooooo that was this chapter VERY short sorry guys but would you be able too give me any ideas, any at all.

So thank you for reading and have a fantastic Week (hehe School)


	5. 34 43

A/N: Okay guys I've had a burst of imagination YAY!! Okay on with the rules ")

Rule # 34: Camp rock songs aren't to be sung around the base.

**(Hearing 'This is me' a thousand times can become annoying)**

**(Even for me)**

Rule# 35: John and I Aren't Shane and Micthie.

**(Just because we're together every minuet doesn't mean we're TOGETHER)**

Rule# 36: We are not allowed to do another Twilight parody on Atlantis.

**(All the girls wanted to be Bella.)**

**(John just had to come in and say that it was my idea, I be Bella)**

**(Next thing I know im Bella and John's Edward.)**

Rule# 37: Same rule applies with Vampire Diaries.

**(This time it happened when Michael was human.)**

**(I was Elena, John was Stefan and Michael was Damon.)**

**(That was until he really became dangerous.)**

**(Then he was Wraith Damon)**

Rule# 38: I cannot plan John and Elizabeth's wedding.

**(Hey who said they weren't getting marrie**d.)

**(Apparently they did.)**

**(All my hard work for nothin'.)**

Rule# 39: No getting people from the Daedalus to bring you clothes back from Earth.

**(I wanted at least one outfit that Alex's wears on Wizards.**

**(They gave me chocolate instead.)**

**(WTF)**

Rule# 40: Don't let Joe meet John.

**(They meet back on Earth.)**

**(Talked for about 3 hours about guy stuff.)**

Rule# 41: No one sneaks up on me when im dancing.

**(Nearly Kicked Rodney in the face,)**

**(Good thing Ronon was there.)**

Rule# 42: Don't ask for backstage tickets for a JONAS Concert.

**(Just because I date one doesn't mean I get a whole lot of tickets.)**

Rule# 43: Another set of quotes from Wizards that we're not allowed to say.

***Right okay we gotta clear out the rest of my stuff. Tell me when you're done (Glare) Okay, I'll help.  
*Zelenka pass ne those balloons. (He passes Rodney the orange one) No the blue one.**

A/N: Okay so there are another set of ten rules your not allowed to say on Atlantis.

Please Review love you guys!!


	6. 44 53

A/N: Hey guys Im Back YAY

Disclaimer: Sadly I don't own Atlantis

Rule# 44: THE FOLLOWING PRANK IS STRICTLY PROHIBITED:

Never hide a pop up alien in your shirt, then in the middle of a huge group of Scientist, say your stomach hurts then make the little alien pop out.

(They all screamed IT WAS SO EPIC!)

(Carson shrieked, (as they all did), then raced me to med-bay. I was this close to getting 546 stitches and multiple blood transfusions.)

(Liz was very unhappy.)

Rule# 45: Don't play the song, 'Blame it on the Alcohol.'

(Sheppard, McKay, and everyone else use it as a excuse to drink more beer.)

(Carson threw it all out when they were passed out on the floor.)

(Woolsy was very angry when all of the Budlight was gone.)

Rule# 46: Never quote Chowder. Todd really wants to make sure this one is understood.

* 'I'm not your boyfriend!'  
* 'I'm almost not gonna kill you!' (I love saying that to the Chevy twins.)  
* 'Pepper spray? That sounds delicous!' (It's not.)  
* 'Burple nurples!'  
* 'Trees are tall. And if you fall from tall, you go quiet forever!'  
* 'Failure tastes like a bad turnip...I don't even like turnips!'

* 'Hey! Come back! I'm not done ignoring you!'  
* 'But waiting hurts my soul!' (I enjoy saying that to Liz.)  
* 'But everyone has a catch phrase!' (Lorne refused to say, 'Now you know...and knowing is half the battle.')(Kill joy.)  
* 'I like time travel! I also like kangaroos and circus tents!' (That is fun saying at random intervals.)  
*' Chaboodles!'  
* 'Men don't cry. They weep!' (McKay was crying during Finding Nemo.)  
* 'My inner voice tickles my spleen.' (Don't say that around Ratchet.)  
* 'Radda, radda, radda.'

(There's so many more, but Todd is glaring.)

Rule# 47: Never try to explain to The Powerpuff girls to Michael

(He wnated to make his own 'Chemical X' and make Me, Teyla, and Cadman super heros.)

('I call being Blossum!')(Cadman)

('I'm so Bubbles!')(Teyla

(Buttercup is badass!)

(But Liz said no.)

Rule: 48: Once again, please don't quote Whose line.

(Todd had no idea so many people would keep doing it.)

* 'There's nothing like Butt toast and head eggs.' (Liz's disgusted face was hilarious.)  
* 'Bathe the whales!'  
* 'Nice pants.' (Ronon went around base saying that to everybody.)  
* 'Hmmmm...say ten hail Mary's and the Gilligan's island theme.'  
* 'You know, for as long as I can remember, I've had memories.'  
* 'SHUT UP AND TOUCH THE MONKEY!' (Sheppard and I yelled that out during a Wraith attack.)(Don't ask.)  
* 'I'll have a cheeseburger, some fries, and a coooke!'  
* * ' Somebody turn off the Michael Bolton music!'  
* 'There's nothing like a 200 hundred pound snatch, if you know what I mean.' (Teyla and I threw our bagels at McKay.)

Rule# 49: Never get back at Woolsy by putting a Decepticon sticker on his car.

(My Best friend blew it up.)(She is SUCH a Transformer fan, and thought it was real)

(Woolsy was very upset.)

(He stutters worse than John when he's angry.)

(Chloe and I got in trouble.)

Rule# 50: Never start quoting the Simpsons.

(Everyone had way to much fun with this one.)

* 'Spider pig, Spider pig, does whatever a spider pig does...can he swing from a web, no he can't..he's a pig, look out...he is the Spider pig.' (The song traveled throughout the base faster than a virus.)  
* 'Just once, I would like someone to call me 'Miss', without the 'You're making a scene.' (That is my personal favorite.)(Sure, Homer said it with Sir, but I am no sir!)  
* 'I like my beer cold...my TV loud...and my homosexuals flaming!'  
* 'Stop pestering Satan!'  
* 'Possible side effects include loss of scalp and penis.'  
*' Just because I don't know doesn't mean I don't understand.' (Carson did not find that funny.)  
* 'That guy impressed me. And I'm not that easily impressed. Wow! A blue Dart!' (Todd was alarmed when I pointed to him.)  
* 'Ohhh, my ovaries!' (Rodney...if that excuse didn't work for Bart, what makes you think it was going to work for you?)  
* 'Mmm...pistol whip...'  
* 'D'oh!'  
* 'Liz, I want you to remember me as I am now...filled with murderous rage.' (That was after a rather nasty day with the Children from Teyla's planet.)

(I'm amazed we are still allowed to watch this show on base.)

Rule# 51: When I said no more High School Musical, that includes the sequel Cadman!

(Lorne and his men won't stop singing, 'I don't dance.')

(Michael doesn't appreciate being tortured by listening to 'You are the music in me.' over and over and over again.)

(Although, that is damn funny!)

(John has taken to listening to , 'Right here, right now,' over and over and over again.)

(I kindly told him to, 'STOP IT!')

Rule# 52: Do not prank Woolsy

(Even though it very tempting.)

(It puts a major strain on IOA/Atlantis relations.)

(He was very unhappy when I spiked his shampoo with hair-dye, which made his hair a very bright pink color.)

(He knew something was wrong when everyone saw him and couldn't stop laughing.)

(Including me.)

Rule# 53:Rodney, Lorne and John...please don't hog the bathroom!

(There are several of them on base!)

(Especially do not hog them whenLiz, Teyla, or myself are having our monthly visit from Aunt Flo.)

A/N: There you go kids.

Hoped you liked it and the rules I based off Tatyana Witwicky, I LOVE you! Haha

Please leave a comment. Love you guys Peace!


	7. 54

A/N: Hey guy im back. I just finished watching all of season one of JONAS, so the first rule is gonna be dedicated to the wonderful Joe, Nick and Kevin

Rule # 54: Quoting JONAS Is not allowed.

'**Back ways no good'**

**Why?**

**There is no back way.**

**Why is that, every inspired speech has to have a point. (Ha-ha, Rodney and your pointless speeches) **

**That idea is so good we should save it for the next time we're stuck. **

'**Hey that's what he said last time. (John does not like Rodney's ideas very much)**

**Hey Kay do these sunglasses make my head look fat?**

'**No your fat head makes your head look fat. (Aw, John you shouldn't take things so seriously.)**

**We're we wearing underwear and party hats?**

**You dreamt that too. (That was a weird day and night)**

**All the fun stuff happens to you!**

**You mean Rodney had a great idea**

**It was bound to happen sometime**

**Thanks man (Ha-ha… John finally said something nice about Rodney.)**

**A/N: Aw those boys and there cool quotes. I hoped you liked this short chapter. I'll try to update soon.**

**R&R Please :P **


	8. 55 64

A/N: Hey guys, I have two days off of school isn't that awesome :P

Rule#55: No we can't make our own version of LOST.

**(I was watching it and Rodney got this look on his face.)**

**(2 hours later we were on some planet near the beach.)**

**(I told Rodney that we didn't have a Sawyer.) A/N: WUV YOU SAWYER haha**

**(And guess who turned up…MICHAEL!) (OH come on!)**

Rule# 56: When it comes to me watching Australian football, YOU AMERICANS ARNT ALLOWED TO SAY ANYTHING...Cough John.

**(I was watching it and John comes in and starts complaining that that wasn't football!)**

**(We were at each others throats for hours)**

Rule# 57: Doctor Who… A show Rodney is not allowed to watch.

**(He started trying to make his own sonic Screwdriver.)**

**(Even though that sounds awesome… VERY DANGEROUS.)**

**(He blew up nearly half the east of the city.)**

Rule# 58: Never give Torren John voltage Mountain dew.

(Teyla AND John made me go back Home for a while after that one.)

(How was I to know He could climb up onto the rafters?)

Rule# 59: Whenever one of the Friendly Wraith asks what you like, never reply casually, 'I like poetry, long walks on the beach, and poking dead things with a stick.'

(Carson made me do a mentality test.)

(I shockingly passed.)

Rule# 60: Never let McKay on a unicycle.

(Man, that was a lot of blood.)

(Carson and Keller wouldn't stop freaking out.)

Rule# 61: Don't attempt To read The Wraith language unless you know what you are saying.

(Turns out what I said to Todd was..'There is a cat down my pants.')

(I didn't even know there were words for Cat on the Wraith planet… Wherever the hell they come from)

(Who would've thunk it?)

Rule# 62: Wheeling office chairs were confiscated.

(Not my fault Chloe went flying and hit the wall.)

(My nose is still broken.)

(Liz and John are not happy at all.)

Rule# 63: Never, EVER make fun of Twilight when Chloe and/or Mikaela are visiting.

(How was I supposed to know mimicking the music from a Benny hill sketch would piss them off so much?)

(Or going, 'Sparkle, Sparkle.' whenever Edward Cullen appeared on screen.)

Rule# 64: Never say,' I don't feel good' in front of Carson and/Or Keller , you will end up staying in the medbay far longer then you really want too.

(Trust me, don't do it.)

A/N: Okay there we go People and other set of rules you cant do on Atlantis and I got a few ideas off Tatyana, I love her she is the best haha.

Pease review


	9. 65 70

A/N: Hey guys sorry I'm late, but heres the next chapter xD

Rule # 65: Never Auction off the Todd or Kenny on Ebay or Craigslist.

(Let's face it, no one would want them.)

(Those who do...)

(May God have mercy on your soul.)

(Because God will be too busy laughing at you.)

Rule# 66: When the emergency alarm goes off, never do or say the following:

*'Nobody panic! Nobody panic! Just follow these simple instructions...crap, where'd I put them?'  
*'I never said they would never find us, I recall saying that it would take longer..'  
*'Who's in charge here?' Then answer by pointing to the opposite person. (Liz and John.)(That really made me laugh.)  
*'Anyone know how to turn this thing off?'  
*Once again, finding a virgin to sacrifice. (The wraith are not interested in virgins.)(Not that I know of.)  
*'Why didn't they DOOOOOOODDDGGGGEEEE?'

(We get up to all kinds of antics.)

(Carson and Keller are amazed we all haven't been killed yet.)

(I'm sort of amazed myself...)

Rule# 67: Never strap leaf blowers to your back while wearing roller blades.

(Sure you get around the base much faster.)

(But according to Lorne, it's unsafe.)

(But man, it was so much fun!)

(The look on Liz's face when Chloe and Mikaela went zooming by.)

(So priceless.)

Rule# 68: If someone on base coughs very loudly, never say the following:

*'How the tuberculosis? Is it better?' (Bad idea all around.)  
*'Did you cough up a bar stool?'  
*'Ya know, you really need to switch brands..'  
*'If you're gonna choke to death, could you do it more quietly?'  
*'Hey, I found your lung!'  
*'Dude, did one of your balls drop?'

(Carson takes medical jokes way to seriously.)

(But I laughed when Chloe had to be taken in to be 'examed.')

Rule# 69: Never say the following, just because you can:

*'Whoa! I like the way you said that. BOOM!'  
*'He's so boring! He doesn't get mad when I poke him!'  
*'I bet there's a gnome living up there. He waits in the confinements of her hair during the day until she starts poking it with pizza crust and feeds him!" (Rodney making fun of my messy hairdo.)  
*'NOTHING! I JUST FELT LIKE HOLDING MY EYE AND SCREAMING!'

*'There are voices in my head...and they keep telling me to through Rodney off the roof.' (Rodney ran away from me after that 0.o)  
*'I'm a vegetarian...except for steak! I love steak!'  
*'I called your boyfriend gay and he hit me with his purse!' (Making fun of Lorne's 'messenger bag' is bad.)

(Once again, newly arrived Aliens will question the human races sanity.)

Rule# 70: When Rodney and/or Daniel has a new experiment and Jack/or Liz says not to go near it, it's best to listen.

(I ended up doing the usual over hyper daughter thing, again.)

('Hey Jack, can I push the button?')

('Can I? Can I? Can I? Can I? Can I? Can I? Can I?' Saying this while walking closer and closer to said button with my finger pointing at it.)

(I think Jack has a permanent twitch in his eye.)

A/n: Haha, ahhh i make myself laugh...ANYWAY i hope you enjoyed that and the ideas came from Tatyana (i love you xD) and please read her stories they are REALLY good. Soo please review yea, bye!


	10. Rule 6

A/N: Well here i am with a short story of why Rollerblading is not allowed on Atlantis and number six haha hope you enjoy.

Disclaimer: I don't own Atlantis, only the plot and Keely xD

Rule # 6: NO rollerblading through the corridors

"Keely are you sure?" Lorne asked me as i put on my rollerblades.

"Yeah of course, isn't that right, John?" I said, standing up, and Looking over at Sheppard. He was sitting on a chair, in the mess-hall and had his hand covering his face.

"you are gonna end up in the Med-bay...again." he said

"Pshh, yeah, right." I said, and i started to move. "Lets get crazy!, get up and dance, take a swing do your thing if we're taking a chance...Ohh Sh!T." i yelled and i whammed into a door. And blacked out, but not before i heard.

"i told her so."

"colonel!"

I woke up to some noise, as i found out it was an IV, I jumped up with a start and then a pain.

"Ow, son of a..."

"Keely Paige Matthews!" i heard Liz yell, she came into the room and stood at the end of my bed.

"yes, Doctor Elizabeth Weir."  
"your banned."

"from What..." i asked, no rollerblades, no rollerblades.

"Rollerskating."

"Ohh come on!"

"You had to have, ten stiches, on your side."

"so no away missions until your better." John said coming to stand next to Liz

I sighed 'Fine."

Not that funny but meh. Anyway i hoped you liked xD


	11. Rule  7

A/N: Hey guys, this is a short story to the following rule:

**Rules # 7: **The following Disney shows are banned:

I was watching Hannah Montana Before we had to go off and fight off some wraith Hive ship, while we were on the ship, trying to get Rodney to the control room safely; i heard the very familiar tune to 'The best of Both Worlds'

"Uh, John?" i whispered as i stood behind him,

"Yes?" he said back.

"What are you humming?" I asked.

"Uh i don't know, I've had it in my head ALL day." He said, looking over his shoulder, to look at me.

"Does it kinda go like this?" I said, and started singing softly "You get the limo out front, oohwooh, hottest style every shoe every colour." I sang, John started nodding his head.

"Yea, that's it, what's it off?" he asked, i could not control my laughter.

"Hannah Montana." I said, as John hung his head "ha-ha, John has Hannah Montana on his brain!" i laughed, so hard, Ronon came over to us.

"Do you mind keeping it down." He said, until we heard the guard's footsteps, Ronon glared at me.

"oops." I said, with a small smile.

"I am Banning that bloody show." Ronon whispered.

"Noooo! " I whined

Okie dokie, i was watching 'sonny with a chance.' Until we got to that abandon warehouse, that with think where Michaels hiding, i heard John Humming, Oh god

"Another song, John?"i asked, walking next to him, as we walk towards the warehouse.

"Uh...Yeah." He said, looking over at me giving me a look behind his sunglasses.

"Let me guess you want me to sing something, all so that you know what you're humming?" i said, adjusting my own sunnies.

"Yep." He said, popping the 'P'

"Ok...So far so great, get with, at least that's how i see it, having a dreams just the beginning." I sang.

"Yea, that's it." He said, just stopping for a bit and then started walking behind me.

I couldn't help my laughter AGAIN "Bwahaha, John's Got Demi Lovato on the brain!" i yelled, i started walking quicker.

"What's it off?"

"Another Disney show!" i yelled as i ran.

"Keely!" He yelled, chasing after me.

"Ahhh! Ahaha." I screamed and laughed at the same time.

"It is SOOOO Banned."

Wizards of Waverly Place' was on, i had to explain to Teyla that wizards aren't real, let me tell you i had a major headache.

"Teyla, wizards aren't real." I said as we walked towards the mess hall.

"But that show...Uh..."

"Wizards of Waverly Place." I helped.

"Has Wizards in them." She said, still looking confused, after about an hour of telling her NO WIZARDS ARE NOT FREAKING REAL. We sat down, at the table with John, Rodney and Ronon.

"Hey what are you two talking about?" John asked.

"Well, I've been TRYING to convince Teyla that Wizards are NOT real." I said.

"But..." Teyla started for like the fifth time in an hour.

"Teyla, Keely's Right."

"Oh thank you." I sighed.

"But you know what? I am as Cool as Justin." John said, i stared at him, mouth wide open.

"No, no you're not, no way in hell." I said, John fake pouted.

"Why?"

"Justin is smart." He started to protest, but i held up my hand. "Let me finish, he's sweet and sensitive and VERY hot." I said, "And you are clearly, not hot." I ended with a smile; John just started to tickle me. "STOP!" he stopped with a grin. "And just to let you ALL know i am Clearly Alex Russo." I said, with a smile.

"Oh yea, you are." Rodney said

"Definitely." Ronon said, with a small smile.

"And if i am Justin that makes you my little sister." John said.

"Oh joy." I said, sarcastically.

"What about the Wizards?" Teyla asked. I mentally facepamed.

A/N: well there you have the three shows that have been banned from Atlantis, unless you ask Liz and John with teh puppy dog face. Peace out and review LOVE YOU xD


	12. Short Story of 54

A/N: well since you guys ARE SOOO nice i'ma give you another chapter.

Rule # 54: Quoting JONAS Is not allowed.

"Well we need to find a way off this ship?" John said, as we walked around, well actually sneaked around the wraith ship.

"Back ways no good." I said.

"Why?"

"There is no back way." And i received a nice slap up the head.

Rodney had just finished his ridiculously pointless speech when John decided to speak up.

"Does that speech even have a point?" He asked. Rodney got from the chair he was standing on.

"Why does every inspired speech have to have a point?"

We had just walked outta the gate and John came up to me and asked.

"Hey Kay,. Do these sunglasses make my head look fat?"

And i replied "No your fat head makes your head look fat." And for that i chased down and tickled to death xD

Everyone was just staring at Rodney.

"Did Rodney just have a great idea?" I asked.

"It was boned to happen sometime." John said.

"Thanks man." Rodney said, as he hugged John sideways. And John just gave me a look.

A/N: Ahaha Rodney, anyway i hope you enjoyed that and i love you and review, OH And im going back home in 3 days YAY!


	13. 71      80

A/N: Heyy guys I'm back Woohoo here are more rules and they are getting more crazier, i am also writing this WHILE watching Atlantis, woo multitasking, anyway on with the rules.

Rule # 71: PLAYING tennis indoors is not allowed.

(It wasn't me who broke all the windows in the training room.)

(It was Rodney) (No IT WASNT *R.M)

(Fine.)

Rule# 72: Same thing goes for Ping-Pong.

(Yeah, Michael broke a pot plant of Liz's)

(She was not happy.)

Rule# 73: no more giving Torren-John energy drinks.

(I had to go home for 3 weeks this time.)

(stupid bab...Uh i mean, I'm wrong for my actions Teyla.)

Rule# 74: singing "Let's do this." While fighting wraith may be taken the wrong way... JOHN

(Uh the pain.)

(No need to explain.)

Rule #75: While watching Eclipse (or any Twilight) Cough John your n ot allowed to do the following:

Talk

Sleep

Snore loudly

Snore and Talk

(John i know where you're hiding)

(MICHAEL NOT YOU TOO!)

Rule# 76: No one's allowed to say something very fast and end it with "Say what"

(LadyFromAnotherPlanetSayWHAT!)

(!) (Aha that was me to John.)

Rule# 77: Ball pits have been banned.

(Which is good and bad.)

(Rodney stayed in that thing for five hours, sorting out all of the balls by color and size.)

(He does odd things after being dumped.)

(I eventually volunteered to go in and try to get him out.)

(It took me half an hour to catch him.)

(It didn't help that he kept popping up on the other side of me and saying, 'Bazinga!')

(All of the Guys were laughing hysterically.)

(Grrr...)

Rule#78: Never say the following randomly, during meetings, or when you're near Todd:

-Yo face! (it confuses them soooooo horribly.)

- Yo momma! (I love it when they respond "What about my mother!")

-Uh, does anyone have a giant tampon?' (That is just fun to say all around.)

-Wait...the snakes were supposed to be fake?(Rodney took off running.)

-Which way to the happy house?

-F** you! *hold one middle finger up* Up the ass! *other middle finger* Twice! *criss-cross* (Jazz really thought that was funny.)

-OMG YOU WOULD NEVER BELIEVE WHAT JUST-kitten! *run towards imaginary kitten* (Of course, I did that when Kenny and Todd were in the room.)

Rule#79: Never greet any new comer (wraith) with disturbing Nature videos.

(Especially the one of the small owl eating the large rodent.)

(O.o...Ugh...)

Rule# 80: Never encourage Rodney to upgrade his 'oops' projects.

(This time around, he made another, more advanced 'Up' collar.)

(For some reason, he put it on my cat.)

(She sounded like Professor McGonagall..)

(Nothing is more annoying than getting your posture insulted by a freakin' Cat!)

Xxx

A/N: well there you have it guys i hoped you like and review luv u (Thx Tatyanna)


	14. 81

A/N: Hello and welcome to the weirdest rule yet aha

Rule#81: no more imitating Charlie the unicorn

(Ooohkay THAT wasnt my falt)

(John had it on himself this time)

*Oh crap the fire's back

*Stop, Drop and Roll man (Hehe i use that one alot)

*man, shut the hellllll up

Rodney: no you shut the hellllllll up

Me: no you shut the hell-

John: ok you can both go shut the hell up.

*"that was... tragic."

"not as tragic as your face!"

"oh, c'mon- that was... uncalled for."

"your face is uncalled for!" (Michael Seriously? Hehe)

*EXCEPT FOR THAT DRAGON! *dramatic pause

(Charlie is now banned)

(noooooooooooooo!)


	15. 82

A/N: heres more rules!

Disclaimer: I OWN NOTHING! Nooooo

Rule # 82: Prue, stay away from any Pepsi products.

(My god girl! You go nuts!)

(But I am honestly impressed that you managed to down 10 cans in under three minutes.)

(I am so envious!)

(And slightly horrified when you climb up a freaking building like a spider!)

Rule # 83: General O'Neill (Trying to be nice mwaha) , never tell them about all the stupid things I did as a child.

(Especially about the time I hydroplaned across a parking lot.)

(With my body.)

(I still don't know how it happened.)

(I don't think I ever will.)

Rule # 84: I am no longer allowed to go out for late night parties.

(I got a lecture from Liz bout dumping Prue on them)

(Also im not to bright in the morning after)

(Once i nearly chucked Rodney over the balcony because he was Pissing me off)

(I'll get you next time)

(-_-)

Rule # 85: Im not allowed to watch 'The Last Song" Ever again.

(Why?)

(because John is making me put this up)

(I cried all over his new shirt)

(Hes a guy he has a lot of shirts)

(But Noooo, it's his "Special" one)

(Pfft)

A/N: aha i hope you liked it, Thanks Tatyana. And iRead and review

Peace dudes!


	16. 87

A/N: Heyyy im back YEA! Aha i hope you like this chapter

Rule # 86: 'We are separated from America by a common language.'

(Good'aye, Mate)

('What?' was my only response)

(i enjoy tormenting the noobs AND my team with y accent)

(Aw yea that's nice, yea that's nice)

Rule # 87: 'I wanna kill him.' 'Take a number and get in line.'

(Todd has a long number of people, Replicators AND wraith in his line.)

(Surprisingly, Kenny, was not that far behind.)

Rule # 88: What to never say during an interrogation of a wraith or Todd.

'**is it just me or is it getting hot in here.' (This got me into the infirmary for about three weeks because John was worried.)**

**(Because i had already dated a wraith before xD)**

'**OMG! It's you! It's really you! (Then continue to stare at said wraith with dreamy eyes.)**

**(It gets weird stares out of EVERYONE.)**

Rule # 89: Never fiddle with Zelenka's computer

**(I 'accidently' removed ALL the icons and the menu bar)**

**(Then changed the background picture to Rodney.)**

**(He had trouble with this problem)**

**(Damn his cute accent.)**

**(I was put on 'watching the Wraith' duty for about all of eternity after wards.)**

**(i can still hear him swearing in Chezech (?SRY) in his office.)**

**(and its been a week.)**

Rule # 90: no more playing 'Satilite'

**(Ok even though Lena is German i tried to state the fact that she sounds Australian)**

**(By playing it over, over and over again.)**

**(John lost it.)**

**(he dialled a random planet and chucked the only copy i had through the Stargate.)**

**(I haven't found it since...)**

Rule # 91: The song 'introducing me' is banned from Atlantis.)

**(Otherwise it smells like feet to me" XD)**

**(John's brain starts hurting whenever i sing it.)**

**(Heehee)**

Rule # 92: do not say these during a wraith/replicator attack.

'**Rodney activate the force filed.' (That was Sam.)'...What force filed?' (That was Rodney oh so smart reply.) (I whacked my head against the hardest thing i could find.)**

**(Which i found out was Todd...Woops. =D) **

'**Okay what's plan A (i asked) (Everyone looked at me oddly.) "Okay what's plan B then?" (Still no response.) Does ANYBODY have a plan? (Even after the attack no plans were made.)**

**A/N: ahhh so there you have it...I BORROWED these rules (because i have no IDEA of what to write about...need help) anyway i borrowed these rules from Decpticon is Decpticon why because she's awesome that why xD**

**So REVIEW PEOPLE PEACE!**

**Michael: yea she needs help...Stupid Human**

**Me: HEY!**

**Damon Salvatore: yea hey**

**Me: What the hell, Damon why are you here?**

**Damon; why not?**

**Me: *Sigh* so i guess next its gonna be Joe as Shane from Camp Rock?**

**Shane: MAYBE...**

**Me: ahhhhh hh! *Faints***

**Michael: I think she's dead.**

**My Friend Esin: DAMON!**

**Damon: what i was here and he was and *Sigh* never mind **

**XD **


	17. rules up to 95

A/N: Heyyy again xD

Rule # 93: No more quoting or watching Invader Zim. Joe, Chloe, Nick AND KEVIN are involved in this one *shudder*

**(Good god, I love that show!)**

*'Tell me a story about giant pigs!'

*'No, I - Wait... What do eyes have to do with breathing?' **(Oh THAT one Replicator...so uneducated about the human body in so many ways.)**

*'What's wrong with you? All you talk about is aliens and ghosts and seeing Bigfoot in your garage!' **(I swear, Kevin is so paranoid.) (He made that statement even better when he replied, 'He was using the belt sander...')**

*'Awww... I wanted to explode.' **(Elizabeth thinks I'm spending way to much time with Rodney..)**

*Children, your performance was miserable. Your parents will all receive phone calls instructing them to love you less now.' **(Okay, maybe my old teacher never said that, but man she was a bitter old woman.)**

*All I wanted was to have some pizza, hang out with Joe, and not let your weirdness mess up my day!' **(Once again, me yelling at Nick and Kevin...sometimes Chloe...)**

*'Fire some kinda laser... thingie at 'em; RIGHT NOW!' **(Oh Rodney...how Jennifer puts up with you is beyond me.)**

*'Hi floor! Make me a sandwich! **(Michael keeps questioning my sense of humour..)**

*'Lemony fresh victory shall be mine!' **(Prue has the new nickname..'Gir'..)(She watches this show way too much.)**

*'But I _need_ tacos! I need them or I will explode. That happens to me sometimes...' **(The newbie's totally fell for it!)(I got sooo many tacos!)**

*'Why was there BACON IN THE SOAP?' **(I just enjoy yelling that at random intervals.)(I also enjoy the sentence because it has bacon in it.)**

* Gir reporting for duty.

Gir? What does the 'G' stand for?

I don't know Wee! **(John and i did that part about six times to four new newbies and half of Todd's crew)**

*Oh your friends at the window. **(I enjoyed saying that whenever one of Joe's friends walks past our house.)**

**(Once again, Todd AND Elizabeth questions Sheppard and I's taste in shows..)**

Rule # 94: Chole and I are no longer allowed to play on a rope attached to a pulley.

(**Don't ask what we were thinking.)**

**(When Chloe and I get bored...no good could come out of it.)**

**(Nearly gave Carson and Liz heart attacks...again.)**

**(Especially when we were high enough look down at both of them.)**

**(heyy come on we're short)**

**(But man, it was so mch fun!)**

Rule # 95: Do not quote The Pink Panther 1 or 2.

**(Those movies are amazing!)**

**(Jack loves them!)**

*'Without warning, I will attack you. In this way, I will keep you vigilant and alert.' **(Like I said, I like keeping the men in my life afraid with random outbursts of rage.)(And really stupid looking karate moves.)**

*'Stop browbeating her! Can't you see she is sexy?' **(Teyla thanked me for the compliment.)**

*'You mean, you didn't just say: Stop the car, dear God, I beg of you, stop the car?' **(Mr Lucas has horrible, horrible hearing.)(He and his youngest son both...)(-_-')**

*'Let me bring you up to speed... We know nothing. You are now up to speed.' (**Good to know, John...)(That shut Woolsey up at least.)**

*'If he solves this case, I'm perfectly willing to run around for 24 hours wearing nothing but a tutu carrying a big, pink, fluffy handbag.' **(Hell of a visual there, Rodney...)**

*'I had to quit being a Buddhist because I feel so much hate.' **(Prue, you weren't even a buddist in the first place..) (my god she gets it from her farther.)**

*'Oh... That is your name. I thought you were ordering in Italian. Once again.' **(Oh...Joe...Kevin...)**

**(...Good one...)**

A/N: heyy so how we those? Thx to Tatyanna Again xD peace guys and review


	18. AN

Hmm i've been having this kinda feeling that i wanna do a really fluffy one shot, between:

Hmm i want you guys to choose. Either between Sheppard and Keely (like a brother/sister kinda fluffy) Or between her and her boyfriend (well husband) Joe. After the plots (?) of The storm and the eye...you know how it was raining and Keely got drenched, she got really sick (duh) anyway...so you guys decided and maybe you could help me out as well xD

Ok sooo there you go CHOOSE xD love you guys


	19. 96 to 100!

A/N: sry its been late guys, i've had exams and stuff to do ugh AHA! Now im just gonna add a piece that i wrote after my science exam. WARNING: it may contain insanity and some cuteness at how bored i can get with 15 mins of an exam to go. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED. P.S: i'll start the real chapter after this CHEESE!

How should i meet David?

Hmm...Wow I'm talking to myself xD

I know aint it great?

Damon: uh no it's not

Me: NO ONE ASKED YOUR OPPINON

John Sheppard: I did

Me: Sheppard wat the hell

Sheppard: sry it's not my fault you talk to yourself.

Rodney: Yea don't be mean to Sheppard.

Me: McKay when did you get here?

Rodney: uh just now

Elena Gilbert: heyy no one told me there was a party

Joe Lucas: PARTY WHERE?

Me: There's no party Joe

Nick: hang on so why are we here again?

Skulduggery Pleasant: yea why?

Me: DIE IRISH MAN!

Skulduggery: i'm already dead

Me: damn it

Skulduggery: sucked in

Valkyrie: yeash that's mature Skulduggery: Shut up James T Kirk: yeah PARTY Me: Kirk There is no party how many times do you have to be told EVERYONE INSIDE MY HEAD:… PARTY! Me: oh for cryin out loud Lois Lane: cheer up Smallville Clark Kent: heyy that's my nickname Me: NOT ANYMORE Dean Winchester: Jeez your mean Me: go to hell Dean Dean: Been there done that sweetheart Sam Winchester: Dean, she's 14 calm down Dean: I am calm Sammy Me: pfft yeah right Dean holds out a gun Me: BUT IM NOT A DEMON! *I run and stand behind Ironhide* Ironhide: feelin' luck…do I have to say it? *I nod* Ironhide: *cough cough* Feeling lucky punk Dean shakes head Me: hehe Optimus Prime: Ironhide put the canons down Ironhide: But Prime OP: down IH: fine Me: Poor poor Hide IH: Quiet kid Prowl: Birds Me: Prowl wat the hell? Prowl Shrugs Dean: Anyway Sheppard: Party? EVERYONE INSIDE MY HEAD turns and looks at each other: Meh Me: PARTY!  
THE END Enjoy my insaneness after a science exam aha  
Now onto the actual chapter aha

Rule # 96: No singing songs from Whose line!

(Todd really, really hates this show now.)

*'I'm lucky little mister, I don't need you, I'm dating your sister..' (Rodney has this gift of pissing off Chloe in less than three seconds...)

*'You are the best I can get...' (Oh Joe, you make me laugh rather hard...)

*'Luck be a lady tonight! Everybody!' (No one sang with John.) (Sad day.)

*'We call it Butte, not Butt, Montana..' (Bwaha..) (Butt...)

(The list can go on and on..)

(But for Todd's sake, I... i mean we will stop there...)

Rule # 97: Do not, for the love of god, mix energy drinks.

(Ha Ha...yeah...)

(The whole Rec. Room looked like it'd been ransacked..)

(I was looking for my pen!)

('I shall name him Bob')

('Why is she naming writing untensils?')

(Oh Liz...you have no idea how random I can be..)

Rule # 98: Once again, this is awesome by the way, do NOT quote Whose line!

(There are still more out there!)

(YES!)

*'Don't mess with the neon love chicken!'  
*'If you loved me, you'd swallow it.' (I apparently walked in at the wrong part of that conversation.) (Wonder what John and Rodney were talking about?)  
*'Oh, sorry, one of your eyebrows fell off.'  
*'...Now, how do we put the leopard back together?' (Good question..)  
*'I spent all night making those frilly pink uniforms, and I expect you boys to wear them!' (Lorne and the other soldiers refused...)  
*'From the time I was born to the time I was died, and then I was reincarnated and came back as this, bowling has been a big part of my life. Sure, it's not really a sport, but it's got great music attached to it!' (That can cause a few odd looks directed at you.)  
*'I love our banter.' (Aw, Mike) (I do too.) (Not sure about everyone else though..)  
*'That was so beyond crap that it would take a spaceship 15 years to get to a planet close enough to look through a telescope at the crap it was.' (I said that all in one breath.) (  
*'Does this shirt make me look kind of boxy?' (Jack can be so funny sometimes..)  
*'Oh yeah it was. Would have been better if your head burst into flames. That would have been neat.' (Prue, stop tormenting Rodney!) (That's my job!)

(You have no idea how much I laughed when _Elizabeth _heard us!)

Rule # 99: The "Friendly" Wraith are no longer allowed to play Monopoly.

('Do not pass go! Do not collect $200.00..')

(Michael, shut up and let me into Liz's office!')

Rule # 100: Do not play Baseball INSIDE

(I had no part in that)

(It was all Michael's and Sheppard's fault)

(Maybe)

A/N: PHEW we made it to 100 rules TAHNK YOU to everyone who has stayed and reviewd this far!

Peace out guys and keep on reading


	20. Chapter 19

A/N; Heyy im back, with mini stories to the rules, i hope you like!

Rule # 90: no more playing 'Satilite'

"John! No DON'T" I yelled, chasing after Sheppard, trying to grab my CD back from him.

"You have played it Soooooo many times; it's going out the window." He said, stopping, turning back to me. He looked down at Prue, who was siding with John.

"Prue, you're my own daughter and your siding with him?" I asked, pointing at Sheppard. She nodded her head and folded her arms over her chest.

"Sorry mum, but you really do play that song A LOT" Prue said, John Just grinned some more.

"Ugh you guys are evil." I said before walking away. I could the two give each other high-fives.

Rule # 91: The song 'introducing me' is banned from Atlantis.

"I'd never trust a dog to watch my food." I sang, walking down the corridor heading towards the control room.

"Sheppard to Lucas." I heard John on the other end of the com, i tapped my radio.

"Yes John?" i Asked, grinning because i knew what he was gonna say.

"Would you kindly stop singing that song." He asked,

"Hmmm...No." i said, with a smile, i heard him groan and then a bag, probably him banning his head on his desk.

"And I'd to use the word 'dude' as noun, verb, or adjective." I continued down the hall, smile my cute little butt off (heehee)

Rule # 85: I'm not allowed to watch 'The Last Song" Ever again.

"OhMyGod that was soo sad." I cried out, i blew into my tissue after the movie had finished.

"Oh yea, terrible." John said, sarcastically. "Ugh look at that you cried all over my shirt." He complained, i looked back at him and rolled my eyes.

"ugh your a guy, you have lots of shirts." I said, blowing my nose again .

"not like this one." He said, wiping at it with a tissue.

"Yea like that'd help."' I said. John just rolled his eyes at me and got up.

"you'll be fine Kay. Go to bed." He said, kissing my head, like always.

"Yes Dad."

A/N: Did you like did you like did you like did you like it?

Aha review pleaseHIHIHHH


	21. 101 105

A/N: YAY New rules aha

Rule # 101: The 'Ferrets Song' is banned from base.

(It starts out sounding all cheery and happy.)

(Then it gets a little...odd.)

(Sheppard's face when he heard me singing the last part.)

(Oh lord.)

('I love the feel of grain, the screams of a man in pain...')

(Maybe it was the look on my face that startled him.)

Rule# 102: No Belching contests!

(Even though they are fun!)

(It was a death match between me and Ford.)

(I actually beat him.)

(Everyone was shocked.)

(And the allied Wraith were slightly disgusted.)

Rule# 103: When someone catches you talking out loud to yourself and ask you about it, never respond with the following, 'I wasn't talking to myself.' *turns head* 'Hey, don't tell them about me!' *turns head back* 'Shut up!'

(That got a few stares...)

(Also didn't help that i was talking to myself in the control room..uhh)

Rule# 104: Never quote Sue Sylvester from Glee.

(That woman is epic!)

*'-If it is one minute late, I will go to the animal shelter and buy you a kitty cat. I will let you fall in love with that kitty cat and on some dark cold night I will steal away into your home and punch you in the face.'

-'I don't trust a man with curly hair. I can't help picturing small birds laying sulfurous eggs in there and I find it disgusting!' (Uncle Jerry made the mistake of asking me why I always give Nick so much crap.)(I think he regretted asking me.)

-'I'm all about empowerment. I empower my men to live in constant fear by creating an environment of irrational random terror.' (Joe shuffled away.)

-'For me trophies are like herpes. You can try to get rid of them but they just keep coming. You know why? I have hourly flare ups of burning itchy highly contagious talent.'

-'Your resentment is delicious.'

-'Add revenge to the long list of things you're no good at.' (I enjoy giving McKay a hard time.)

-'Lady Justice wept today.'

-Prepare to be crushed.' (Teyla.)

-All I want is one day a year when I'm not visually assaulted by uglies and fatties.

-So much sneaky gay deception!

Rule# 105: Quotes from Red vs. Blue are discouraged.

(But lets' face it, we haven't followed any of the 'Do not quote' rules as of yet.)

*'There's a very fine line between not listening and not caring. I like to think that I walk that line every day of my life.' (Liz did not find that line amusing.)

*'Relax, I'm not going to give it a cold. I'm just gonna go in there, step on its neck, and shoot it in the head. Because that's how I roll.' (That was Ronon.)

*'From now on if anyone's gonna make my girlfriend cranky and psychotic, it's gonna be me!' (Nick said that without realizing that Chloe was in the room.)(When he asked what I was staring at, I simply pointed behind him.)(Chloe did not look amused.)

*'He is not pregnant!' (Again with the 'Food baby' jokes.)

*'I will f&king stab you, computer phone lady!

*'You're round and you can't wear pants.' (I enjoy saying any sentence with pants in them.)

*'Goodbye Major Cinnamon Bun, I will always remember your buttery goodness.' (Sheppard glared at Joe...for an hour)

*'Your toast has been burned and no amount of scraping will remove the black stuff!' (I wanted toast, dammit!)(I was too lazy to make more.)

*'SHEILA! COME BACK TO ME! I MADE YOU A MUFFIN!' (I just love saying that randomly.)(Jack asked me who this Sheila was.)

*'Also someone might have been surprised by that and peed his pants... Just a little bit... Or a lot.' (Nick...just admit it...Carson scared the piss out of you.)

*'That was you...I thought the tooth fairy was mad at me...'

*'OH crap, OH crap, OH crap, running, running, running!' (Michael was astounded at how fast humans can run when under the threat of being blown up.)

'Well at least I don't go around knocking on peoples non-doors and promising them cookies AND THEN NOT GIVING THEM COOKIES! I'M! LEAVING!' (Oh pregnancy, thou art a heartless bitch.)

(Trust me, i know)

*'Hey, The box is there for a reason. I feel safe in there.' (Prue and I were hiding from Keller.) (John found that funny.)

*'If you had backed up any further you would have had to mail him the bullets!'

*'That sounds like the feral cry of a retarded Mexican sasquatch.'

*'Hey Keely! How you like them apples? And by apples, I mean bullets! In your face! How you like them pears? Guess what I mean by pears?' (Michael is a very sore winner.)

*'PROTECT ME CONE!'

*'Hey doc, nobody likes you.' (That's not true Carson!)(I adore you and your Scottish ways)

*'I think yelling should be reserved for only the most critical of situations...Like when someone drinks milk from out of the carton!' (Simmons really hates it when John, Rodney, or myself do that.)

*'You're about to get Simmonsized!' (That is his new slogan.)

*'Simmons! I need your ovaries!' (Liz gave me an odd look.)

(Simmons put his hand on my shoulder and said the following, 'Darling Kay...one..I am a man...and two, if I did...like I'd give them to you...')

(Major sweat drop moment.)

*'And you will hear my laser face!'

*'Blue vs. Red battles. No one says Red vs. Blue. It sounds stupid when you say it backwards.' (That was McKay.)

*'I WILL EAT YOUR UNHAPPINESS!' (Kevin screamed that at John, who was looking less then pleased.)(That startled him just a bit.)

*'Not my fault, John did it.' (That's my answer for anything that goes wrong.)(It really doesn't work if John isn't even in the same room.)(Or the same galaxy for that matter.)

*'Oh, him. Yeah, um... he let me out and then somehow shot himself in the back somehow. Uh... but we don't think it was anyone's fault, everybody agrees it was an accident.' (I'm terrible at making excuses as to why there was a dead Wraith in the brig and I just happened to be the only person there at the time.)

*'What're you gonna do, shoot ghost bullets? "Hey I'm Casper the friendly bullet".'

*'What's wrong Ronon, having trouble keeping it up? Don't worry, happens to everybody. Well, not me but...' (Oh my god, I couldn't believe Jack said that!)(That was the best thing ever!)

*'It's not pink, its light-ish red!' (Yeah, sure Chuck..)

*'Bad? Oh no, that's not bad! Next time he comes over, why don't you just help him blow up the whole god damn base?'

*'Ow! There goes my last kidney! I was saving that for a special occasion.'

*'Of course he was facing forward, what other way do people face?' (Kevin...-_-')

*'For the love of evil, someone get the phone!' (That one actually had a funny story to it.)(I was just imagining life on a wraith hive, with Todd having to deal with his crew being all lazy and shit...)(I mean seriously, have you seen how fat most of them are?)(I said that in my best Todd voice while making odd, angry looking faces.)

*'Why do we have a million doomsday devices and no answering machine?'

*'Ugh, Officer Hot-pants.' (I'm still having nightmares from that.)

(My god, this rule was so big, it took up a whole freaking page of report paper!)

(Liz was not that amused, but took the paper anyway!)

A/N: YAY i hope you liked it, like many of you are taking a break over the holidays sooo thats what im going to do to aha, Merry X-Mas...or whatever and happy new year

I DONT OWN ATLANTIS...Or some of these rules they belong to Tatyana Witwicky


	22. 106  112

**A/N: sry for the LONNGGG wait guys but grade 9 (Supposed to be in Grade 10) its been busy lol and now that i am sick (Yaay? Kind of lol) i get some free time on my hands soo i hope you enjoy this new chapter.**

Rule# 106: Remember what i said about ALL of the secret agent bob stuff?

Yea well that includes Llama's with Hats.

**(DO NOT get me started on what happened when Prue showed Rodney, then Rodney showed Sheppard and then Sheppard did the mistake of showing Woolsey.)**

**(Yea guess who got the blame?)  
(ME)**

Rule # 107: When you are sick on Atlantis DO NOT and i repeat DO NOT go anywhere near Carson.

**(Why? Well he made me stay in the infirmary for about 2 weeks)**

**(And it was just a normal cold.)**

**(Oh no but i was coughing too much.)**

**(Ugh *mumbling*)**

Rule # 108: The Obama ass-kicking song is banned.

**(Youtube is amazing!)**

**(Everyone has been putting together a list of 'Ass kicking experts.')**

**('Mr. T, Chuck Norris, Bruce Lee, Bruce Willis... me lol')**

Rule # 109: 'Rock, paper, scissors, lizard, Spock!'

**(That game is getting harder to explain...)**

**(But it is getting popular!)**

**(Prue and John can do it all damn day!)**

Rule # 110: It is never good to try and order pizza from the base.

**(Ronon ended up scaring away my pizza.)**

**(I was starving for the rest of the day, refusing to eat anything apart from pizza.)**

**(Ronon had to make it up to me after Sheppard reminded him that I was a girl and I needed to eat three times a day.)**

**(I think I gained three kilos from all the pizza I ate.)**

**(Ronon now has his perks.)**

Rule # 111: Musicals are not allowed on base...anymore.

**(I said i was sorry!)**

**(We tried to preformed 'Camp Rock')**

**(Yea it failed...real bad.**

**(There went the whole south east pier...again.)**

Rule # 112: If you live with military guys, DO NOT...and i repeat DO NOT make them dance to single Ladies

**(****oh my god)**

**(Now that is something i would put up on youtube.)**

**(but Ronon and Sheppard broke my camera)**

**(Liz told them to buy me a new one.)**

**(LOL)**

**A/N: Sry again bout the wait guys but i hope you enjoy this chapter as much as i did.**

**Please r&r luv u guys!**


	23. 112  118

**A/N: Heyy look at this you get two chapters in one day! Lol enjoy. I'm watching Atlantis soo it kinda helps lol.**

Rule # 113: Do not turn the lockdown on and off repeatedly

**(Lockdown on, Lockdown off, Lockdown On, Lockdown Off.)**

**(I was having so much fun, until Sheppard caught me and then took me to go see Weir.)**

**(Then she lectured me about doing things i shouldn't be allowed to.)**

Rule # 114: To tie with number 113: Do no play with the self destruct button either.

**(Self Destruct On, Self Destruct off, Self Destruct On, Self Destruct off)**

**(Liz questioned me on how i even got the pass codes.)**

**(I grinned and pointed at Rodney.)**

**(Rodney was confined to his quarters, for about three days.)**

**(Lol)**

Rule # 115: Do not point and laugh at Lorne when he paints.

**(He cried...again)**

**(I kinda...you know did that.)**

**(I got sent to the principals...uh i mean Liz's office...again.)**

**(For the fifth time this week)**

Rule # 116: DO NOT say that i am a bad influence for my daughter.

**(You would most likely get thrown off of the pier.)**

**(Or punched.)**

**(Or...you know other stuff.)**

**(Rodney said that once, he ended up in the med bay for about a week.)**

Rule # 117: Ok when ever faced with the friendly wraith, never ever sing a Hannah Montana song.

**(Todd nearly tried to jump me, because i wouldn't stop singing.)**

**(Hee i can annoying a wraith it is soo good.)**

Rule # 118: Girl Nights on Atlantis consist of:

**(Wild Parties)**

**(Lots of booze)**

**(Dancing)**

**(And Karaoke) **

**(The guys all head to their quarters and don't come out until the next morning.)**

**(We are so smashed the next day that we don't do anything.)**

**A/N: LOL girl Nights would be fun, anyway i hope you liked it and review.**


	24. 119  126

**A/N: heyy Guys welcome backkk, im glade that ONE of you guys reviewed my Star Trek story...Hint hint lol.**

**Anyway here are some more Stargate rules.**

**Enjoy **

Rule # 119: We are not allowed to invite In-Laws to Atlantis.

**(I had a hard time convincing Mr and Mrs Lucas that we were still on the same planet.)**

**(Lol and then they fainted because they found out we weren't.)**

**(Then...Well let's just say Chloe's parents are a BIT slightly over dramatic.)**

Rule # 120: So you think You Can Dance...is banned.

**(It was sooo sad the day i had to write this.)**

**(Ronon couldn't grab the concept of the competition.)**

**(So therefore it is now banned... sad face.)**

Rule # 121: No more coming to ANY of my concerts.

**(Why?)**

**(well...the stories to long...and painful.)**

Rule # 123: No more coming to the recording studios.

**(uh my ears still hurt.)**

**(No offense Rodney but you can't sing.)**

Rule # 124: Do Not Throw Rocks, they might explode.

**(Yeah Todd's been experimenting with rocks, now.)**

Rule # 125: Christmas Jumpers are no longer allowed.

**(Yes for Christmas i dressed up the jumpers.)**

**(With reindeer ears and a red nose.)**

**(John wasn't happy, Liz laughed though) **

Rule # 126a: When you are told to do something by a superior officer, "that's what she said" is not the way to respond. Especially if that officer is a guy.

**(it wasn't my fault, i aint military i have no superior offices.)**

**(Well maybe except for Liz and John...and Jack.)**

Rule # 126b: You want me to do _what?_" and "why?" are not acceptable answers either.

Rule # 126c: Nor is "do it yourself".

**FINISHED! :D**


	25. 127  140

**A/N: heyy Guys welcome backkk**

**Anyway here are some more Stargate rules.**

**Enjoy **

Rule # 127: No more dancing in the halls

**(You might actually get hurt.)**

**(And you know what I don't even have to say who got hurt.)**

**(Ok I'll say it RODNEY!)**

Rule # 128: No more than 100 rules

**(Me: Well that's stupid, just putting that up is a violation. Teyla: Shut up. Me: Moving on)**

Rule # 129: Prue is not to be left unsupervised in the science lab

**(I have no idea how many times I have said this.)**

**(Every time I come back from a mission.)**

**(She is either in the med bay, or she has no eyebrows.)**

Rule # 130: No calling shots to who would drive the puddle jumper

**(Guys really how old are we?)**

**(Alright yeah I admit it was me who started the trend off in the first place but...)**

**(QUIT LOOKING AT ME LIKE THAT! -.-)**

Rule # 131: No Yelling.

**(REALLY... OH COME ON! – McKay)**

**(This is why we don't want anyone yelling anymore.)**

**(We get so wrapped up in yelling that we don't even notice the Wraith stowing away in Atlantis)**

**(That happened MORE than once!)**

Rule # 132: No more settling disputes with violence.

**(I WAS STUCK IN TEH MED BAY... AGAIN!)**

**(John did it!)**

Rule # 133: Cookie obsession is not a serious problem!

**(Me: I don't see the problem...)**

**(Beckett: There's a cookie over there.)**

**(Me & Teyla: COOKIE!)**

**(John: You were saying...?)**

Rule # 134: No Pets

**(Really?)**

**(It's not my fault Prue's dangerous spider got loose.)**

**(Liz: Yeah it was)**

**(Me: Shut up)**

Rule # 134: Running out of cookies is not a cause for a self destructed sequence to be applied.

**(Hehe, I was hyper.)**

**(Then they were all gone.)**

**(...GONE I TELL YOU!)**

Rule # 135: No hitting a superior officer

**(We give each other *DiNozzo's whenever we do something stupid)**

**(Me to Liz)**

**(Evan to John)**

**(Zelenka to Rodney)**

**(Then John gets one back by hitting us all up the head)**

Rule # 136: Say that there is a serious medical emergency down in the mess hall and it turns out that all the cookies are gone.

**(It was a serious matter)**

**(I wasn't hyper anymore)**

**(Sniff)**

Rule # 137: All traces of rule 85 are to be destroyed

**(Here comes the sad movie again!)**

Rule # 138: No more saying 'Bow Chika Bow Wow' whenever something can be taken two ways.

**(Hey look, it's a long thingy.)**

**(BOW CHIKA BOW WOW!)**

**(Cadman: Oh shut up)**

Rule # 139: No more singing 'CHAD CHAD CHADDY CHAD CHAD'

**(Really it is getting on EVERYONE's nerves)**

**(Chad Chad Chaddy Chad Chad)**

Rule # 140: No More quoting 'Sonny With A Chance'

* Let me see it went something like this. Blah blah blah peace picnic blah blah blah.

First of all that's not how I talk.

* This is last you will see of Keely Matthews! I mean other than the fact that we live together.

Yeah! (Walks out, then come backs into the room)

You know what, I forgot my jacket.

Girl it's cold out there

This is the last you see of Keely Matthews! (Comes back in again)

I don't even have a jacket (Puts jacket back)

Put that back silly

But this is the last you see of Keely Matthews! I say good day.

**(LOL)**

**A/N; Sry for the lateness guys, but now its the holidays (YAY) and so I'll have more time to write. Woooo 19 days until my birthday! Anyway I hope you liked this update and yeah please review!**


	26. 141  144

**A/N: heyy Guys welcome backkk**

**I just realized that the last time I updated, it was the one year birthday of these rules...WOOO! I feel special aha :P anyway Enjoy **

Rule # 141: No more cursing in Italian

**(Seriously it annoys the Italians...)**

**(And then some...)**

Rule # 142: No more quoting 'Red Vs Blue'

**(Sniff)**

*Alright that's it. I swear to God, Rodney, your ass is haunted. When we're done here, I'm going to haunt you.

*You know what? I f*ckin' hate you. (**Me...To Michael...Lol)**

*****Okay guys, I don't mean to be rude, but I've got a missing boyfriend, a guy who's pregnant, an idiot who thinks his pet just died, AND our worst enemy is hanging out unsupervised in our base right now. So I really, really, REALLY don't have time for this HORSESHIT RIGHT NOW! **(Umm...yeah we were all drunk and I had been watching too much of it...Hehe lol)**

***Some Rookie**: Um Mr. Sheppard! Sorry for y'know, calling your girlfriend a slut.

John: Rookie! Shut up! Just shut up! You're driving me crazy! Get in there!

**(Hehe lol that poor guy...went home three days later.)**

*Wait, I know how to do this! Dearly beloved we are gathered here, today, to witness, the joining together of Dr Weir, and Sheppard, in eternalness together, smuh- speak now, or forever rest in peace! With liberty… and justice… for all. The end! **(Hehe I was in sooo much trouble for that)**

*Atlantians vs. Wraith battles. No one says Wraith Vs Atlantians. It sounds stupid when you say it backwards. **(Ahh John the things you teach Rodney.)**

*Stay there, Private McMuffin **(Hehe Lorne...You're the best.)**

*****My name is Keely Isabella Matthews and I... hate... BABIES! **(That sentence doesn't work anymore, since ya know having two kids and all...LOL)**

*****I WILL EAT YOUR UNHAPPINESS!

*RONON! COME BACK TO ME! I MADE YOU A MUFFIN!

*Hey chicka bump bump.

*Bow Chika Bow Wow

*Bow Chika Honk Honk

*What? I can't hear you over the sound of your teamkilling!

Etc.

**(As you can see...there are a lot of quotes for or team and base...LOL)**

Rule # 143: No more random photo time.

**(RANDOM PHOTO!)**

**(Yeah it has gotten me some pretty awesome shots the past couple of years.)**

**(Only to see that they were firing their guns and/or running for their lives from the Wraith.)**

Rule # 144: No more Facebook

**(WHAT! Oh come on.)**

**A/N: Hehe there ya go two in one week aren't you guys lucky lol**

**R&R guys Piece!**


	27. 145

**THIS IS AN INCOMING TRANSMISSION FROM STARGATE COMMAND! GENERAL O'NEILL HAS PERCIFICALLY ORDER THAT THIS RULE MUST MOST DEFINITELY BE FOLLOWED (THAT MEANS YOU TOO KEELY!) Me: Ohh come on!**

**RULE # 145: **Guys come on we cannot, most definitely, quote Red Vs Blue – Samantha Carter.

**(And here are some of nearly all of the quotes not to...quote.)**

**1: **I like me

**2: **I did not even know the North Pole was in _San Francisco_... This changes everything!

**3****: **I think "BLARG" means... me. Or... apples... GUYS! Apples must be the name of his cat...QUICK, quick! Is apples stuck in a tree? ...I will call the fire department!

**4: **Ctrl F U

**5: **Goodbye Major Cinnamon Bun, I will always remember your buttery goodness.

**6: **Oh my god, I knew it, we're all gonna die! STARTING WITH YOU!

**7: **Not my fault someone put a wall in the way

**8:** Stargate Command... Oh no... They never have good news. Did somebody die, was it my mom is she dead or my dad, did my dad die again. Oh no... Wait, did my brother die? Oh god that's it isn't it? My brother is dead! [Sam: No it's nothing like that] Oh good, because I don't even have a brother. How horrible would it be to not have a brother and lose a brother all in the same day.

**9: **What're you gonna do, shoot ghost bullets? "Hey I'm Casper the friendly bullet".

**10: **TODAY IS A GOOD DAY TO DIE... No it's gotta be today... For our ancestors!

**(and soo on.)**

**THIS MESSAGE WILL BE PUT UP AROUND ATLANTIS AND THE SGC, TO REMIND EVERYONE...DO NOT QUOTE THAT GOD FORSHAKEN SHOW EVER...EVER AGAIN!**

**Signed: ****General Jack O'Neill.**

Keely put Rodney's tablet back down onto the table that she, John, Ronon, Rodney, Teyla and Sam where sitting at. She lend back into her chair.

"Huh, that was weird." She said, scratching her neck. John looked up at her with food in his mouth.

"What was?" He said, Keely grimaced.

"Gross. Talk after you've eaten. What are you twelve?" She said, the rest of table laughed. John glared at them and swallowed his food.

"There better?" He asked her, she smiled. John leaned over and grabbed the tablet off of the table. A few seconds later he laughed.

"You made this up, to add to the rule list?" He asked Sam. Sam grinned at him.

"Yep." She said, popping the 'p'. Keely groaned and whacked her head on the table, laying it there, her cheek against the table so she could face John.

"This is so unfair." She grumbled.

"Well it wasn't us that started quoting it in the first place." Ronon said. Keely lifted her head to look at him, and groaned again and her head ended up back on the table.

"**Ahh I'm dead!**" She said, quoting Caboose. Everyone laughed. Well this was fun.

**A/N: Aha i decided to do this because i felt like it aha Red Vs Blue has now played a major part in my story aha. It's just the best web series EVER! Aha I cannot wait until Season 9. **

**Anyway I hope you enjoyed it, I don't own anything apart from Keely :P**


	28. 146 151

**A/N: I have decided that there should one special page for this one special rule.**

Rule # 146: NO MORE QUOTING ADSFMOVIE

**(Really guys, don't we have any of our own things to say? – Elizabeth)**

**(NOPE!)**

*I like Trains

*I AM PUNCHING YOUR SALAD! **(Do not I repeat DO NOT say this in the mess hall, John had me escorted to the med bay -.-)**

*They said I couldn't teach a Llama to drive. **(Yes, yes they did Rodney.)**

* Who parked their car...on my sandwich **(Uh Awkies)**

*Die potato **(Hehe, I was right all along!)**

* (pulls out gun)

Not today

*Tree powers activate **(Yeah, poor, poor John.)**

*****DESMOND THE MOON BEAR

How did I get here?

The End.

*I baked you a pie

Oh Boy what flavour

PIE FLAVOUR! **(Dun dun Dunn)**

*Hey you know who's gay?** (I said that in a meeting once and John replied, your boyfriend.)**

**(I didn't like him much after that -.-)**

*Got your nose

LOOK OUT HE'S GOT A NOSE! **(Hehe, I did that to Ronon, who was playing with Prue at the time)**

*Hello parking meter

Hello **(I FREAKED OUT FOR DAYS!) (Then I found out that it was Nick and his bloody brother.)**

*There is something on your face (PUNCH) IT WAS PAIN! **(Hehe you do that to the Wraith and then they start freaking out aha.)**

*Hey it says gullible on the ceiling

*Ahahaha...I can't read

**A/N: Yea and I could only write a few, cus theres SO MANY! Lol anyway ONWARD to more rules!**

Rule # 147: No more pointless button, prank.

**(It is pointless.)**

Rule # 148: No more...

**(What! NO MORE WHAT!)**

Rule # 149: No more pointless rules – Colonel Carter.

**(Really. THIS IS A POINTLESS RULE!)**

Rule # 150: No more than 140 rules.

**(Seriously...?)**

Rule # 151: No more calling anyone Desmond the Moon Bear, when you can't remember their name.

**("Hey Colonel Sheppard." – Some Noob.)**

**("Hey...Desmond The Moon Bear.")**

**(Hehe lol.)**

**A/N: YAY we made it to 151 rules WOOOOOO! I feel happy aha and now that I have a blocked nose and it is starting Pee me off, I am posting this now and then play Sims 2 aha, I tell you my Sim, she was alright living by herself, with her two dogs and cat and then BAM some guy who does her gardens, falls in love with her, next thing I know, their moving into together and have TWINS! YOU KNOW HOW ANNOYING TWINS ARE! (No offense to any twins out there it's just the ones on Sims) anyway, I am going to deal with that problem no, so sorry for my rambling and I hope you liked this chapter.**

**I OWN NOTHING!**

**Keely!**


	29. 152 155

A/N: I'm Back :D

Rule # 152: No more buying stuff from people on the other worlds.

**(This is only on here because the last time we bought something from New Athos, the whole base almost exploded.)**

**(Then there was that time with that dog looking thing.)**

**(It nearly ate my hamster.)**

Rule # 153: No more hamsters

**(Hamsters...there evil and their dog thingy foods.)**

**(My poor poor hamster.)**

Rule # 154: We are not allowed to say random stuff in the middle of meetings.

***I ATE A DOG! (Awkward.)**

***I'M GAY AND NOBODY LIKES ME (not my fault)**

***I QUIT (we always quit.)**

***FRIDAY FRIDAY (ENOUGH WITH THAT SONG!)**

Rule # 155: no more talking, on any 'No more talking days.'

**(Elizabeth is very mad when she doesn't get her quiet days.)**

**A/N: hehe :D**


	30. 156 158

Rule # 155: No more quoting "Everybody Loves Raymond." John nearly very killed me,

***Yeah... you won't be smiling when we send you a postcard from Disneyland. (I have no Idea how we got on that subject...I blame Todd.)**

***This coming from the guy who once threw his shoe at a swan. **

**It's called protecting your sandwich. (Rodney, Rodney, Rodney.)**

***I wish I were Einstein cause then I'd invent a time machine and go back to when you were nice.**

***He hates it when I cry. It reminds him of our wedding night. (This is what I tell everyone...then they look at me weirdly and walk off.)**

***Steve do you love me?  
YOU STILL NEED REASSURANCE, AFTER 45 YEARS OF BONDAGE? (Caldwell can get a bit pissy sometimes...and that's only his wife.)**

***Rodney! What are you doing? You can't eat it from there! Your fork was in there! Now nobody can eat it!  
McKay: That's all I have to do? In that case, the fork's been in the ice cream, too!  
[I walk**_** in**_**] Hey.  
Jen: Hi, Keely. Are you hungry? Do you want something to eat? Only you can't have lasagna... Or ice cream.  
[Rodney **_**sticks his fork in cake**_**] Or chocolate cake.  
Look at him! He's like an animal, marking his territory!  
[Rodney**_** sticks Keller with the fork**_**]  
Hey!  
What? That's a compliment.  
Me: God, how I wish I could say this is the wrong Atlantis...**

***Do you cry because I'm stupid?  
No, I eat ice cream because you are stupid. (Me and John)**

***What's for brunch, Liz?  
Ham.  
Excellent. I shall put on my ham pants. (Face palm John)**

Rule # 156: No More Family Guy

**(Seriously guys I found my 8 year old daughter watching it.)**

**(Not that I started watching when I 12)**

Rule # 157: we should really stop scaring people

**(It doesn't look good on the mission report)**

**(I may have scared the living daylights out of the leader of one planet)**

**(Next day we died...oops)**

**A/N: Ahah yea we should probs stop doing that :D anyway I hoped you liked! **


	31. 159 166

Rule # 159: No more dissing my new album "When the Sun Goes Down."

**(I'm very touchy on the subject)**

**(Lorne learnt the hard way.)**

Rule # 160: 'Whiplash' is no longer allowed to be played

**(Just cus John is annoyed that i do an English accent in it.)**

**(Doesn't mean he can ban it.)**

Rule # 161: CAN WE STOP TURNING MICHAEL INTO A HUMAN

**(I seriously DO NOT want to go through the whole "WE'RE TOGETHER" speech)**

**(It scares me)**

Rule # 162: Ferrets are NOT cool

**(Especially if there alien animals that look like ferrets.)**

**9Trust me you don't want to bring them back to Atlantis.)**

**(Woolsey almost had a massive spaz.)**

Rule 163: again with no Pac 'N' Roll

**(Michael and Todd get along for about 5 hours when they get together with this game)**

**(John and Rodney on the other hand...)**

**(yea you don't wanna know.)**

Rule 164: apparently we're not allowed to see "Breaking dawn"

**(Who SAYS!)**

Rule # 165: I plan on skateboarding through the Stargate without breaking anything

**(HA that didn't work out so well.)**

**(John decided to dial home without telling me.)**

**(I crashed right into Daniel...and Jack)**

**(eeep)**

Rule # 166: Parties are now forever banned.

**(It wasn't even Me!)**

**(It was Rodney and John)**

**A/N: ahah there you go people I hope you liked this update :D review LD**


	32. 167 172

Rule # 167: No learning a language for the sole purpose of arguing.

**(That was a bit Awkward)**

**(John and I took it upon ourselves to learn wraith...ism)**

**(Just so that we could yell at each other across Atlantis with no one having a clue at what we're saying.)**

**(Although Daniel and I already did that a couple of years ago.)**

**(Learning ancient and yelling at each other in briefings)**

****Rule # 168: When ever Daniel is coming to Atlantis, I am no longer allowed to stand waiting in the Gate room

**(I nearly shot someone when they said I wasn't allowed in there)**

**(I tackle glomp him EVER time he comes over.)**

**(I'm worst then Prue when Joe comes back from being on Tour)**

Rule # 169: No making up various characters just to alarm the Wraith

**(Prue and her "best friend" old spice)**

**(And people say I have a wild imagination)**

**(It's really funny though when she just breaks into song.)**

**(Scared the hell outta Todd one time.)**

Rule # 170:

"_Holy Jesus, there are 170 rules?" John said looking at the tablet then across the table looking at Keely. 'Woman you have too much spare time on your hands. Keely just shrugged._

"_What? Dr Weir said, 'Make a rule list for things you're not allowed to do on Atlantis' and there it is."_

"_Yeah not a bloody essay," Major Loren said_

"_Meh," _

I am no longer allowed to call Jonas at his home world.

**(I WANTED TO SAY HELLO!)**

**(God, I hadn't seen him in a few years.)**

Rule # 171: Quotes from Barnyard, be it the movie or the show, are strictly prohibited.

(**I didn't start this one this time...it was Prue and Teyla)**

*"I got a pulse...Wheeeee!"

*"I am medicated for a chemical imbalance, so don't you sit there and call me crazy." **(Oh Sam, you never fail to make me laugh like a idiot...)**

*"She seems nice...or, wait, not nice. What's the word? It's on the tip of my tongue..oh yeah!Dangerously insane!" **(Larrin glared at John for what seemed like half an hour..) (They so want each other!)**

*"Helloooooo day! Don't chew on my shoes!" **(Me...Ha!)**

*"Oh that's the opposite of good..." **(Rodney..) ("Holy crap..run!)**

*"Sweet bleeding dirt!" **(Jack.) (I lost it completely when he yelled that!)**

*"Que the anamontronic chainsaw wielding scarecrow!" **(I actually built one and it ended up going somewhat haywire..)(Luckily, Old Ronon took it out with one shot..)(Sheppard not happy with me...)**

*"Ahh zip it and eat your popcorn!" **(Sam...)**

*"I'll form a conga line!" **(Yeah, Cadman, I'm all for that but I doubt that'll stop the Wraith from attacking the base...)(ALthough the thought of them doing the conga is enough to make anyone pass out with laughter!)**

*"I blame the liberal media!"

*"I have since thought of a plan!" **(Jonas...on that very faithful i invited him to Atlantis)**

*"I am much too excited to hear you!" **(Ronon about to fire off his favorite weapon.)**

*"Why I am tied to a tree? I must've been naughty..." **(John was literally tied to a tree...)(As to how he got there...my guess is Prue and Jackson (my bro)) (Or he really was naughty...)**

Rule # 172: No head licking.

**(I had NO IDEA what Rodney was thinking.)**

**(Just standing around one day and then BAM! Rodney grabs John's face and licking his hair.)**

**(everyone who was around, was awkwardly disturbed)**

**(Then you could hear John squeal like a girl.)**

**("EWWWW GET IT OFF GET IT OFF GET IT OFFF!)**

**A/N: ahaha those guys :D ahahaha anyway I OWN NOTHING SOME OF THESE RULES ARE NOT MINE. THEY BELONG TO TATYANA WITWICKY AND I ASKED TO USE THEM FIRST.**

**I hope you enjoyed :D **


	33. 173 180

**A/N: Heyyy Guys Imma back! Wooo aha thanks for all the reviews and stuff so heres another set of rules for you :D hope you enjoy.**

Rule # 173: No more "Last Friday Night,"

**(Not that that song is exactly what we do on Friday nights pfft,)**

Rule # 174: I am no longer allowed to bring Joe to Atlantis

**(Apparently last time I did, he blew something up,)**

**(Later that week we found it was the South east pier)**

**(...again)**

Rule # 175: Texting during important meetings is not advised.

**(You kind of forget Important things)**

**(And Liz was shocked as to how I even got reception)**

**(Then John almost killed me for my phone)**

**("Who do you have to call!"**

"**Important people!'**

"**What your mum?"**

"**...SHUT UP!")**

Rule # 176: This one is from Elizabeth.

No more annoying Colonel Sheppard, He uh has issues,

**(I DO NOT!)**

**(See,)**

Rule # 177: This one is from John

I DO NOT HAVE ISSUES STOP SAYING THAT I DO!

**(Man by putting that up, is saying you have issues,)**

_John looks up at Keely, she grins._

"_I don't even know how General O'Neill puts up with you," He said_

"_Hay we're family, he's supposed to put up with me," She said leaning back in her chair_

"_What about the others?" John asked Keely leaned against the table and gave John the pouting face. He just rolled his eyes. "Wonder how _**I** _put up with you,"_

Rule # 178: Sleepovers are not allowed in the gate room

**(Whose bright idea was that?)**

**(...Oh right mine!)**

Rule # 179: Sleeping in meetings is not advised either

**(Rodney was snoring to loud)**

**(Apparently I laugh in my sleep)**

**(WHO KNEW!)**

Rule # 180: "Over 9000!" Is NOT an official response

**(Oh come on...it was funny)**

**("McKay how are we doing with power?" Sheppard**

"**It's Over 9000!" Me**

"**WTF...BOOM" THAT was Rodney)**

**(Yeah, Wraith attacking the city didn't help John's mood)**

**A/N: Hahaha there you go guys**

**It's over 9000, well over 170 rules YAY how's that haha  
I hope you are enjoying this because I plan on doing some more...  
I should go I'm hearing strange noises in my house...scary!  
And John's not here...neither is Daniel!  
Ahah It's weird saying Daniel at my friends house that I went to yesterday cus  
Her brothers names Daniel and I dreamt about him last night...ANYWAY :D R & R**


	34. 181

Rule # 181: One simple rule: NO MORE BREAKING DANCE IN THE GATE ROOM!

**(Come on people this is serious stuff)**

**(...Hahahah)**

**(*Liz: HEY no laughing this is serious stuff, we don't even know who started it yet?*)**

**(I have no idea who that could be?)**

**(John started it...I didn't know he COULD dance to begin with.)**

**A/N: WOOOOO yea no more break dancing guys...god :P**


	35. 182 188

**A/N: Heyy guys im getting this one up quickly because im going to a friends house soon sooo here we go**

**Oh and thanks to werepanther33 for some of these awesome rules aha :D**

Rule # 182 : For God's sake, we DO NOT live in a yellow submarine. STOP SINGING THAT DAMN SONG!

**(Uhh is it my fault that I started singing that in the first place)**

**(Now I have a headache)**

**(I tried calling Daniel...he won't answer my calls anymore... -.-)**

Rule # 183: Do not make Zelenka teach you how to say "Put your finger through your neck" in czech. It sounds like a throat disease and you'll end up in medbay. (that sentence has no vocals at all. It's true.)

**(the look he gave when I walked past his office after that was scary)**

**(who knew he could be so terrifying) **

Rule # 184: Do not say "Fascinating" in a completely deadpan voice. It's freaking Todd out when you do that.

**(haha John started that,)**

**(then Teal'C visited and just kept saying 'indeed')**

**(I think he was trying to scare Todd off of the base.)**

**(Again...after me...doing it the first time...*cough*)**

Rule # 185: Do not space out staring at a Wraith. It disturbs them.

**(I did this to Kenny, on his ship)**

**(He didn't like it)**

**("Stop looking at me like that"**

"**What?"**

"**You are staring at me"**

"**I am?"**

"**Yes,"**

"**Like this?" stare at him again**

"**STOP IT!")**

Rule # 186: Ties with number 185: Especially when you grin evilly.

**(hehehehe)**

Rule # 187: Please for the love of god...no quoting How It Should Of Ended

**(I Swear If iI have to make one of our own just to let them know how annoying it is I will,)**

**(What that didn't even make sense?)**

**(shut up.)**

**(Oh crap I'm talking to myself...*sees Daniel*)**

**(Oh no,)**

Rule # 188: No more talking to yourself on a sheet of paper

**(It's worse than when you talk to yourself out loud)**

**(Well I had a LOT of test to run... -.-)**

**A/N: Hahah there you guys go I hope you enjoyed it see ya soon**


	36. 189 196

**A/N: Hey sorry for being late guys aha **

Rule # 189: Seriously people another Adsf Movie...NUMBAH 4! No quote.

*I'm gonna do an internet...Wahhhh!

I'm gonna do a book...oh

*(Com link comes through) This is a robbery

Dun dun dunnnn

Hang up (**You don't want to hang up on Liz….that was awkward.)**

*THE SCIENCE SHOW

(Piano somehow falls out of sky)

Whose Idea was this! **(I say Daniel's but he wasn't there.)**

*I wanna be a pie! **(Mass Hall awkwardness)**

*Nice hat

Oh thank you

I was being sarcastic

Well I stole your face

*I can dream Harold

*I am a Steg-Oh-sorus

*Quick shoot me in the face!

*Banana fight

NO!

*THROW THE CHHEEEESEE!

*I want to go to the moon **(WHY! We're in another galaxy!)**

Rule # 190: Carson isn't allowed to give experimental drugs.

(**Lorne has always been shy around the Wraith so the good Doc offered to help him out.)**

**(The drug worked well but then Evan got a wee bit too comfortable.)**

**(Meaning he started stripping...)**

(**To say everyone was a little surprised would be an understatement.)**

**(The Wraith saw more of him then they wanted to see.)**

**(As did I.)**

**(And everyone else.)**

**(John, Ronon, Rodney, Zelenka: "MY EYES!")**

Rule # 191: Whenever someone Comms you, never say the following:

*"Sorry, wrong number." **(Elizabeth wasn't happy with John.)**

*"I'm sorry, the person/or Wraith you are trying to reach is not in.

Please leave a message after the beep." **(Todd, it doesn't fool anyone if you actually say…"beep.")**

*"Pleasure centre, what tickles you?" **(John avoided Todd for three weeks.) (I couldn't look at Todd in the eyes without giggling.) (Rather loudly.)**

*"Oh my god, the voices are back again!" **(I'm haunted by the stacks of mentality tests.)**

Rule # 192: No breaking into John's mini fridge

**(Uh they had no coke left in the kitchen, so I decided that it would be fun to break into John's mini fridge.)**

**(Not so fun when you're caught in the act and the coke is the last for about 3 weeks)**

**(Let's just say we STAYED in the med bay for 3 weeks)**

Rule # 193: No bored dialling.

**(Definition: Bored Dialling, when one is bored and dials the gate…multiple times!)**

**(I kinda ran us out of ZPM power)**

**(In about three minutes.) **

Rule # 194: No more random yelling…PLEASE!

**(Random yelling consists of when nothing is happening)**

**(And EVERYONE is bored)**

**('I MADE MUFFINS' 'MUFFINS!')**

Rule # 195: No more singing

**(This is for Dr McKay and McKay only)**

**(Well maybe Colonel Sheppard as well)**

**("**_**Hey!")**_

Rule # 196: Butt dialling is awkward…so DON'T DO IT!

**(Ok so it happened like this,**

**Since we don't actually have phones our Comms are what we use the most, and some people sit on the,**

**Resulting in butt dialling someone and then coincidently the person why are bagging about,)**

**(Never EVER butt dial Todd or Kenny, they WILL tell,)**

**(Babies)**

**A/N: Hey guys sorry for taking a long time but I couldn't think of anything and then Tatyana update and WHAM ideas ahah so some of these quotes are hers! I have asked her if I could borrow them and she said yes! **

**So I hope you enjoy and REVIEW**


	37. 197 205

**A/N: Sorry for not updating in forever! Haha buut I just haven't been watching Stargate for a while and then I lost my muse :P anyway shes back and ready to go enjoy! I own half of these rules :P others are Tatyana's.**

Rule # 197: NO I AM NOT A FAIRY! AND DO NOT CALL ME ONE!

**(Why do people think that I'm a fairy?)**

**(Well maybe it could have been the weird dresses I've been wearing lately)**

**(I blame John for giving me wings)**

Rule # 198: "This morning I put Red Bull into my coffee maker instead of coffee and now I can see noises."

**(That line is better with demented facial expressions.)**

**(Keller has been monitoring my caffeine intake.)**

**(John or Liz hasn't been arguing...)**

**("I'd rather not get Jennifer chopped.")**

**(Damn...That makes no sense.)**

Rule # 199: No showing the Count censored.

**(Oh god, Chloe and I just about pissed ourselves laughing.)**

**(As did McKay, John, and Ronon.)**

**("I **** the spiders on the wall...")**

Rule # 200: WOOOOOOOO! Ahem: Do NOT play Nyan Cat over the intercom.

**(That was awful but awesome!)**

**(John's desk broke due to him bashing his head into it over and over.)**

**(Sorry, John! The twins made me do it!)**

**(You don't know who the twins are? They are the new members of SGA-10...heh)**

**(Teyla looks about ready to murder us while we're sleeping!)**

Rule # 201: No commenting on my obsession for Batman.

**(I almost punch Rodney in the face when he told me Batman wasn't real,)**

**("Keely you do know that Batman isn't real right?"**

"**WHAT!"**

"**Rodney back away slowly.)**

**(I have officially made myself a Batgirl costume and I went around the base making everyone call me Batgirl)**

**(Then I took a puddle jumper and visited the friendly Wraith,)**

**(Toddy wasn't happy,)**

Rule # 202: Never doubt how many viral videos I have seen..

**(Sooooo many!)**

*** Nyan cat. (Prue thinks Nyan cat is cute and she wants it...she even named it Snow...**

**-_-')**

***The Annoying Orange. ("Hey, hey Apple...!") (I did that to Michael until he hung me from the rafters again...)**

***Epic meal time. (Just...yeah...)**

***The bed intruder. (John and Jack were amazed Chloe and I have what that guy says memorized...) ("He's climbing in your windows and snatching your people up...hide your kids, hide your wife, and hide your husband cause he be raping everyone out here!") (Yeah, we're nerdy...I have the t-shirt...I was actually wearing it...heeheehee)**

***Sittin' on the toilet. (Hearing Ronon singing that made me pass out laughing!)**

Rule # 203: I am not allowed to watch the Dark Knight anymore.

**(I-I but!)**

**(NEVER!)**

**(NOOOOOOO)**

Rule # 204: Discos are greatly discourage

**(We had one in the gate room. Bad idea.)**

**(We had the music up loud, and fist pumping...until SGA-1 came back and were being followed.)**

**(I have never forgiven John for that day.)**

Rule # 205: As from one of the very first rules for no Skateboarding, that includes HOVER BOARDS!

**(I had found this awesome market on one of the planets and guess what?)**

**(They sold Hover Boards!)**

**(I...'bought' one and took it home,)**

**(Only to end up in the med bay because I ran into a wall,)**

**(Not my brightest idea,)**

**A/N: LOL!**


	38. 206 212

Rule # 206: Giving my daughter any sort of drink that includes sugar is a bad idea.

**(I am serious.)**

**(Prue was up the wall in our room)**

Rule # 207: Remember those Replicators of ourselves? Yeah well I'm not allowed to talk to me anymore.

**(That was a sad day for me.)**

**(Then I found out they all died)**

**(Who the hell was I talking too?)**

Rule # 208: Inviting Wraith back for an 'after party' is not a great idea.

**(No I'm serious)**

**(Even if they were the 'friendly' wraith)**

**(Kenny officially doesn't like me)**

Rule # 209: "Do you want to see something strange and mystical?"

**(NOOOOOOO! GET OUTTA HERE WITH THAT WATCH! LAY OFF THE POOR BEAVERS, WILL YA?**_**SHEEEESH**_**! YOU'RE A CREEP! GO AWAY! WE WERE HAVING A GOOD TIME UNTIL**_**YOU**_**SHOWED UP, JEEPERS!**_**UUUUUUUUGH**_**! GO HAVE SOME COFFEE, WITH CREAM, OR SOMETHING! BECAUSE I'LL TELL**_**YOU**_**SOMETHING:**_**THIS IS A HAPPY PLACE**_**!")**

**(The whole rec room was dead silent after that.)**

**(Liz gave me a stern talking too.)**

**(*sigh*)**

Rule # 210: "I don't want to be a man. I want to be an angst-ridden teenager who can't confront his own inner demons and takes it out verbally on other people instead."

**(Michael.)**

**(I nearly died laughing when he said that to Liz and Sheppard.)**

**(Rodney's face was priceless!)**

Rule # 211: Quotes from Zombieland are greatly discouraged around the SGC and small children.

**(Especially small children.)**

**(Certain members of the SGC actually like this movie.)**

*"Time to nut up or shut up!" (**My personal favorite when frightening new recruits.)(It works...teeheehee)**

*"I'm not great at farewells, so, uh, that'll do, pig." **(Michael is horrible at saying a simple goodbye..) (I was so pissed off.) ("That's the worst goodbye in the world, and you stole it from a movie!")**

*"You wanna feel how hard I can punch?" **(Ronan.) (Rodney ran very fast.)**

*"Where are you, you spongy, yellow, delicious bastards?" **(Liz walked in at the wrong time.) (I saw her slowly shuffle out of the room.)**

*"It's amazing how fast the world can go from bad to total shit storm." **(Daniel.)**

*"In Mexico, you know what they call Twinkies? "Los submarinos." **(Not sure if it's true...but hey..)**

*"Hey, a little help with movin' the couch. We're makin' a fort**." (Prue and Torren.) ("No.") (Teyla.)**

*"Hey, this may be a bad time, but I gotta take the Browns to the Super Bowl." **(It took the General and Jack about three seconds before they figured out what Miles meant.) (I laughed so hard I nearly passed out.)**

Rule # 212: Madagascar quotes, from both 1 and 2 are being frowned down upon by everyones favorite tactician.

**(Yeah, good luck Rodney.)**

**(Less you face the wrath of angry Prue and cranky Torren.)**

*"Did he just say "Grand Central Station," or "My aunt's constipation"?" **("You are so lucky I'm not there, old man!") (John, calm down...it's not Hammond's fault he's hard of hearing...)**

*"Just smile and wave, boys. Smile and wave." **(A great response to a question that you and/or a marine can't find an answer too.)**

*"What does Connecticut have to offer us?" **(Keller.)** "Lyme discease." **(Carson.)**

*"They are so cute from a reasonable distance." **(Baby Wraith.) (*Shudders*)**

*"Come on now, baby. My little filet. My little filet mignon with a little fat around the edges. I like that. I like a little fat on my steak. My sweet, juicy steak. You are a rare delicacy." **(Simmons says some Really disturbing things while he's sleeping.) ("I really hope he's talking about steak..") (John, Rodney and I shuddered quite violently.)**

*"Don't you shush me!" **(Do NOT shush this mother!)**

*"Okay, well, great. Let's make gas look good."

*"Shh! We're hiding. Be quiet me. Shh! Who's making that noise? Oh, it's me again..." **("Keely, be quiet!" (Jack & John.)**

*"What is a simple bite on the butt among friends? Come on, give me a nibble." **(Evan to Ronon, who backed away slowly.)**

*"They are always annoying us by trespassing, interrupting our parties, and ripping our limbs off." **(Little pests those Replicators are.)**

*"Can you not see you have insulted the freak?" **(Apparently, my glare is quite terrifying...along with the fact my grip is quite powerful...that newbie..tsk..tsk...)**

*"Fear me! Savagery beyond comprehension!" **(Michael.)**

*"In case of a loss of oxygen, please place your masks over your faces to hide your terrified expressions from the other passengers."

*"Hurry up, before we come to our senses!" **(My favorite line!)**

**A/N: Oh hello there guys….heh long time no see : P Please don't hate me! **


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